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Graveyards remind you that none of us have an unlimited amount of timeto get things done. And the time we have, it's not even guaranteed. Ibet the girl buried here wasn't expecting she'd only get sixteen yearsto do whatever it is she wanted to do in life.What is it that I want to do?Honestly, I'm not even sure. I think that's what I'm trying to find out.I guess the first step is to settle up the past and that means dealingwith Dad once and for all. Then I'll move on from there, one step at atime as they say in the 12-step programs.But I can't let him forget because I can't forget. Maybe I'm just here to tell the truth.Maybe I'm some kind of avenging angel.Ha! Imagine me being any kind of angel.Sometimes I imagine that's why I don't want to eat. Like if I getthinner and thinner, I'll become less attached to the earth, to itsgrossness, its meatiness, and instead I'll hover in-between, more likean angel, more ethereal and pure. Does that make any sense? There's aconnection here. ‘I don’t think you are getting the breasts quite right, Selina. Well, to draw something, you need to understand it, to really know it – that’s why drawing something from photographs, rather than life, never works as well. Here,’ she continued, ‘feel the texture – really feel it!’To my amazement, she took my nerveless right hand and placed it on her breast, covering the nipple – which to my shock was incredibly hard and firm. From a distance of only a few inches, she looked me directly in the eyes, unflinchingly and challengingly:‘Go on, Selina, get to know what you are drawing,’ she said softly, but it was dawning upon me that I was scheduled to be learning something much more here as well. Hesitantly, conscious of the warmth of her body and the smooth texture of her skin, I moved my hand around her breast, and I made no murmur of resistance as she took my left hand and placed it on her other breast. I traced my fingers around her aureoles, admiring the stiff pinkness of her.
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